After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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