In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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