I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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