I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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