I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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