Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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