I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
