she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's shark week go big or go home
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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