best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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