Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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