Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
