chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
