Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
