he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
