I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
