I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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