No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There r osticjed everywhere
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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