I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Your cock deserves a montage
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
