If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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