come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
