its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Operation Purity has been aborted
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
