mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
