He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
