So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
