did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
