also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
