Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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