im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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