Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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