when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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