so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
