There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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