Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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