He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
