bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
