I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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