So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
