i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
