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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
