We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
