After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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