This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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