I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
