girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
