Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
