wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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