I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
