I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My vagina is very pro this idea
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