i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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