i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
